Transitions of the Heart

March 12, 2012
Edited by gender specialist Pepper (coauthor of The Transgender Child), this heartwarming collection features true stories of mothers of transgender children, and depicts their journey of understanding, acceptance, and love. Coming from all classes, races, and sexualities, and including adoptive, single, and stepmothers, these stories include a brief history of the mothers’ upbringing, followed by their discovery of their children’s transgender nature, and conclude with a description of the transition process (if any) and its after-effects. For Cheryl Kilodavis, her child’s gender difference became obvious at a young age; as soon as her son, Dyson, could walk and talk, he “began gravitating towards all things pink, purple, and sparkly.” Some mothers, like Michelle Schnur, must cope with their husbands’ transgender issues in addition to their child’s. Some mothers come to understand and support their children more quickly than others; one anonymous mother remembers her rudeness toward her son (now daughter’s) future partner when they visited. Many struggle to give up their feelings of having lost a son or daughter during the transition, as well as their concern about possible side effects of hormone injections. This deeply personal book should prove an invaluable, inspiring resource.

May 1, 2012
A stark, important anthology of essays by mothers of transgender and gender variant children. Pepper (co-author: The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals, 2008, etc.) collects more than 30 accounts written by a wide variety of mothers of a wide variety of children. These short vignettes outline the oftentimes heart-wrenching social, psychological and physical trials faced by variant gender individuals and their families. For those who assume transgender issues manifest sometime around puberty or only when sexual desire arises, these stories demonstrate quite powerfully that the sex one is attracted to and the gender one feels oneself to be are vastly different subjects. Whether born female and identifying as male, the reverse, or somewhere in between, a remarkable commonality among these mothers' observations is how young their children were when they began identifying with the other sex--many as early as 2 or 3. One mother describes her preschool-age male-identified daughter asking, "Mom, when is my penis going to grow in?" Many of the mothers show the often-conflicting impulse to protect their children from bullying and ostracism while simultaneously wishing to encourage them to self-express and grow. A number of mothers depict their own transitioning of sorts from denial or guilt and initially "protecting" their "family, friends, and acquaintances from" their "kid's gender identity" to later " 'coming out' as the parent of a transgender child." Each of these intimate tales of self-discovery are so brief as to be nearly indistinguishable, but the collection's overall effect gives voice to the desperate need for language to cope with one of the most socially challenging states of being.

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April 15, 2012

A therapist specializing in work with families of transgender and gender-nonconforming children and teens, Pepper (The Transgender Child: A Handbook for Families and Professionals) has collected 32 personal essays from mothers of transgender and gender-nonconforming individuals. Within these essays, mothers of all ages (some with adult children) tell their own stories: some speak of embracing their transitioning kids, others, of their fears or worries, still more, of their pride in their strong children. Labeled in the foreword by Kim Pearson as "support group, a tutorial, and an educational text all rolled into one," this text may, at first glance, seem like Pepper's first book, a handbook for families with transgender children. This latest title, however, is entirely anecdotal. Although this may still provide help for families learning about their children, it is not an advice or self-help book. VERDICT Because there is so little material available for parents of transgender and gender-nonconforming youth, this book is recommended for parents looking for anything on this topic. However, they should be advised that Transitions is not offering advice or direction--just sharing experience.--Rachel M. Minkin, Michigan State Univ. Libs., Lansing

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