The Smart Girl's Guide to Getting What You Want

December 23, 2013
In this empowering tome, Hartley (The Good Stress Guide) offers a roadmap for shrinking violets everywhere, showing them how to become more assertive human beings. Taking a big-sister tone, she recognizes how easy it is to fall into people-pleaser mode and explains why being assertive is crucial for self-esteem and growth. After defining the personality types with which pushoversâor, more kindly, people-pleasersâmust deal, and offering polite yet firm comebacks to manipulative phrases such as "it's my way or the highway," Hartley gives concrete examples of respectful and appropriate responses to guilt trips and manipulation. Body language is also covered in detailâincluding how to project confidence while not actually feeling itâas is how to respond to both warranted and unwarranted criticism. Exercises addressing real-life situations are sprinkled throughout, allowing the reader to role-play tricky situations before having to deal with them in real life. Hartley also provides suggestions on how to accept and give apologies, how to accept and give genuine compliments, and how to gracefully conduct one's self with colleagues who steal unearned credit. While many scenarios address work situations, readers will find that the principles Hartley establishes can be applied to a wide range of scenarios.