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Confessions of a Dork Lord

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Despicable Me meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid in this hilarious illustrated middle grade adventure that follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny.
Meet Wick. He's the son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World. Too bad he's stuck in Remedial Spell Casting (he can barely even cast the fart-revealer spell), he's allergic to fire and brimstone, and the bullies at school insist on calling him Dork Lord.
Full of humor, hijinks, and lively illustrations, Confessions of a Dork Lord follows Wick through the pages of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness . . . and survive Middle Ages School.
"I loved every page, and your kid will too!" —Melissa de la Cruz, bestselling author of the Descendants series
"It's not easy being bad. But this book will give you a head start." —Pseudonymous Bosch, bestselling author of the Secret series
"Hilarious! Not to be missed!" —Eoin Colfer, bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series
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  • Reviews

    • Publisher's Weekly

      October 28, 2019
      In this entertaining yet underwhelming fantasy, a hapless orphan struggles to live up to the legacy set by his impressive but long-vanished father, once Dark Lord of the grim folk, while dealing with bullies and his own magical incompetence. Twelve-year-old Azrael Bal Gorath the Wicked, better known as Wick, is expected to assume his father’s throne and lead the “ogres, orcs, dragons, goblins, witches and warlocks,” but he can’t even succeed in Remedial Spell Casting, let alone garner respect and fear. When his father’s legendary scepter goes missing, Wick sets out to uncover the thief and find it in order to prove himself. Naturally, things go quickly awry, requiring Wick to master his powers once and for all. Presented in a faux-diary style complete with stylized illustrations by Altés that enhance the story’s whimsy, Wick narrates his mishaps in a put-upon, matter-of-fact manner. Johnston exaggerates fantasy tropes for comedic purposes—orcs are disgusting, goblins creatively malicious—and the narrative strikes a balance between dry humor and clumsy earnestness (“It’s hard to be into the whole ‘fire and brimstone’ thing when you’ve got allergies”) that lends the story an uneven feel. Ages 8–12.

    • Kirkus

      November 1, 2019
      The son of a fallen Dark Lord looks for his own place in the world. Azrael Bal Gorath the Wicked--"Wick" to his friends--is the heir to the throne of the grim folk. Wick's father, the Dark Lord, ruled over ogres, orcs, goblins, witches, and warlocks alike until he vanished after fighting the faire folk's champion, Galorian (a "good" wizard). The absent lord left nothing behind for his son, hoping the lack of titles and status would help build Wick's character. Wick (a white preteen with a shock of red hair) spends his days evading bullies and dreaming of having the power to move on past his struggles in Remedial Spell Casting. The novel is a promising if curious blend of Dungeons and Dragons fantasy world and the typical "diary of an underdog middle schooler" fare, but the enterprise never quite gets off the ground. There's a lot of worldbuilding up front, and the day-to-day banality doesn't jibe well with the big-picture conflicts between the faire folk and the grim world. The novel also overstays its welcome, coming in at well over 300 pages of disjointed and poorly structured story. Wick is unpleasant, the world he inhabits is boilerplate fantasy, and his story feels sluggish when it should be brisk and rushed when it should take its time. A miscalculated satiric fantasy that treads too-familiar ground. (Fantasy. 8-12)

      COPYRIGHT(2019) Kirkus Reviews, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

    • Booklist

      December 1, 2019
      Grades 5-7 The coauthor (with Melissa de la Cruz) of the Heart of Dread series aims at a younger (or, at least, less sophisticated) audience with this tale of a dread sorcerer's 12-year-old orphaned son who can't even cast the ultra-simple Fart Revealer spell. More than half convinced that he's regarded as a laughingstock for his lack of magic and leadership ability, Azrael Bal Gorath the Wicked?aka Wick?latches onto the theft of his 10-years-vanished dad's obsidian scepter as a chance to prove himself to the orcs, goblins, and other folk of Grimhold. As he tracks down the culprit, Wick not only has adventures (that range from wading through the Gurgling Lake of Sulfur to being sent to a school for ice giants where even pop quizzes last entire days) but also learns how to organize a wayward crew of allies. Johnston leaves his young warlock looking forward to future challenges?and better equipped to handle them?while wreathing his tale in crowd-pleasing clouds of alimentary humor. Spot art frequent, but some finished versions not seen.(Reprinted with permission of Booklist, copyright 2019, American Library Association.)

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Languages

  • English

Levels

  • ATOS Level:5.8
  • Lexile® Measure:810
  • Interest Level:4-8(MG)
  • Text Difficulty:3-4

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